FEBRUARY 2013

  • RELATIONSHIPS – WHAT THE F00K TO DO?

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: self-help

    Hi everyone!!  How’ve you been?  Good?  I hope good.  Tell me good.

    So, a lot of people have asked me to write something about relationships.  Specifically, the ones where someone consents and allows you to penetrate a special orifice they have.  You know, the ones where you get to take the skinboat to tuna town.  I’m talking about “romantic” relationships that involve coitus here, people.  I don’t think I can adequately summarize all you need to know about relationships in a couple of pages, but I’ll try my best to at least pollinate some seeds of wisdom into your brain crevices.

    What does it take to get better at something in life?  Answer; it takes practice.  Whether it’s riding a bike, playing an instrument, or applying Juggalo clown make-up, relationships take practice.  Relationships also require patience, tolerance, dedication, commitment, and compromise.  People who tell you they never fight, or never disagree are either full of shit, cut-off from their feelings or have a one-dimensional relationship.  The truth is, it’s normal to argue and have disagreements.  Think about the people you love most in your life; your mom, dad, sister, brother, best friend, basement leprechaun who parties when no one is home etc. Don’t you sometimes disagree with these guys?  Don’t they sometimes piss you off ?  If you’re in touch with your emotions then the answer is yes.  Yes, they can make you bonkers and that’s normal.  Your partner falls into this category too because, ideally, you allow yourself to be close to him or her.

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