It’s been a while guys, but I’m back like the Terminator… or that armpit rash you thought was gone. Hopefully I’m less like an armpit rash to you and more like the Governator himself (without the whole boinking of the housekeeper part, that is). This post will be about attitude and why it’s more badass than a donkey riding a motorcycle through a ring of fire.
Attitude is important because it’s related to coping. And coping is important because it’s related to how you manage/respond to your thoughts and feelings. And thoughts and feelings are important because they make up experience. And experience is important because experience is life.
Attitude as it is used here, by me @tifftutts, refers to the way your thoughts and feelings intermingle and form the lens by which you ingest, interpret and experience life. Basically what I’m saying is: Attitude represents the way you think and feel about everything!!!
TRUTH BOMB #1- As a grown ass adult, you have the power to control your behavior. You are in control of your attitude. You are in control of the thoughts you allow that magnificent psyche of yours to generate. You have the power to choose how you respond to people and things in your environment.
Being mindful of the thoughts and feelings that influence your attitude is a step in the right direction. Mindfulness is a whole blog post in itself, but for now, just know that it has to do with bringing your awareness to the present moment.
Your general attitude is not something that developed overnight. It was born out of the depths of your past and it developed as your ability to think and reason took shape. Our attitude may be heavily influenced by our history and the environment(s) we were exposed to when we were youngins, but as adults, we are responsible for the mindset we adopt, AND for the ripple effect said mindset has on our life.
TRUTH BOMB #2 –You can’t always control what happens to you in life, but you can control how you react to it.
If you can grasp this idea, then you’re at an advantage for sprucing up your attitude. I’m not trying to take away your sucky feelings and replace them with only shiny bright ones. No way. There is a continuum of emotion that we have the capacity to feel and we should not deny our feelings. Feeling sucky is not always a bad thing. It’s normal and ok and necessary to help us get through the difficult things in life. The “Ya gotta feel it to heal it” thing I’ve mentioned before. But getting stuck feeling sucky isn’t so good. To avoid this, you need to use that attitude of yours to pull yourself up-and-out of that doo-doo mood you may find yourself in.
ACCEPTANCE and GRATITUDE are two muscles that you need (need, need, need, neeeeeeeeeed, NEED!!!) to develop if you want to have a positive attitude and get out of shit moods when they come around. Having a positive attitude simply means incorporating acceptance and gratitude into your everyday life. Readily doing so will reduce your stress and increase the feelings of happiness and meaning you are able to glean.
The beauty here is that the application of acceptance and gratitude is supes easy. Acceptance comes with understanding the first part of truth bomb #2- realizing that you cannot always control what happens in your life. This means that you need to LET GO OF THE THINGS YOU CAN’T CHANGE if you want to exercise your acceptance muscle. Then, there’s gratitude. Ahhhh, sweet, sweet, glorious gratitude. It’s such an easy and cost-free way to generate a personal sense of validation. It’s kinda like a mini-orgasm for your mood. Finding things to be grateful for does the body oh, so good. It relieves stress, enhances coping skills and promotes optimism and wellbeing. So why wouldn’t you want to do it? The answer is because sometimes when we are in emotional pain, we develop a narrow view and can’t see beyond its limits. Having such a narrow/small/closed point of view limits our ability to experience gratitude because we are so self-focused and unable to see outside of ourselves (at the time). That’s okay; sometimes that’s just part of the process. BUT, if you want to get unstuck, you have to broaden your scope. Finding things in your life to be grateful for will do just that.
TRUTH BOMB #3- If you have a pulse and the cognitive capacity to understand this blog, you have a lot to be grateful for.
When you feel bad, or notice yourself having a negative attitude about something, train yourself to realize how lucky you are to have all that you do (that’s mindfulness). At the very least, having all 5 senses is absolutely cause enough for gratitude, not to mention having a roof over your head, a refrigerator with food- or a taco bell down the road maybe, clothes to keep you warm, friends and family that love you… etc. Somewhere right now, there is someone in a position that would love to have the “problems” you do, or the stressors you have. Realize that and your view will go from narrow to wide. I’m not criticizing you for losing sight of all the things you have to be grateful for. I’m really not. I’m just reminding you that if you feel like dung, exercising your gratitude muscle is a remedy to change your shit mood into a better one. The title says, “When Life Gives You Lemons… Make Lemon Grenades and Destroy Anything That Stands In The Way of Your Awesomeness,” and often times it’s you creating your own obstacle. So be mindful and aware of the times when your crap feelings impair your ability to see the big picture (i.e., the things outside of yourself). Don’t pound yourself with lemons, just realize that you’re in control of the happiness you extract from life.
Acceptance + Gratitude = Positive Attitude. And Positive Attitude = RAD’ITUDE!
If you want to get rad you need to cultivate your rad’itude, So, get those sweet cheeks of yours in gear and hop on the trolley to your positive destination! You-are-the-driver!
I really hope you found this little ditty useful. Please let me know what you think and send me a (sh)email or (h)email.
And last… a book update: I wrote a self-help book called “Being and Awesomeness: Get Rad, Stay Rad,“ and I am SO excited to share it! I’m pretty much a spazz 85% of my waking hours, and my plan is to have it ready for release by spring or early summer 2014. I’m putting it out myself and will have it for sale on my website, as well as available as a free pdf download. I want everyone, everywhere to be able to access this baby. Stay tuned and stay golden you beautiful, amazing, wonderful human being you!